As far as matchmakers are concerned, love is like poison. Or so claims Khaykelson, a character in a one act play by Avrom Reisen. And Khaykelson might know. Matchmakers played an important role in Yiddish culture. Matchmakers appear in Yiddish literature, folksongs, and film. In fact, Edgar G. Not surprisingly, matchmakers were a popular character type in the Yiddish theatre. Fortunately, Plotting Yiddish Drama is bringing you the tools to help make that happen. In a social milieu where arranged marriages were expected and parents sought out connections for their children with similarly-minded families living both close by and far away, someone needed to oversee introductions and negotiations over dowries and provisions for the young couple.
Are matchmakers for Jews necessary?
Inspired by millennia of tradition and guided by the eternal teachings of the Torah , Jewish communities have developed a unique pattern of courtship and dating. The process is goal-oriented, beautiful and respectful. Read more. I am 69, but look like I am in my late 30s due to Organic living. I’m new here Anyone suggest jewish matchmakers?
A new study by Dating Ring, an online matchmaking service, has found that its to date other Jews than they are to date singles of different religious backgrounds. long-term relationships with someone who shares their cultural background.
Such service was virtually indispensible during the Middle Ages when custom frowned on courtships and numerous Jewish families lived in semi-isolation in small communities. Shadkhanim were thus relied upon to gather and evaluate information on the personal qualities and background of potential spouses in order to ensure a felicitous and holy union. Their recompense, fixed by custom, was often a percentage of the dowry. In some of the larger Jewish communities of eastern Europe, the reputation of shadkhanim was marred by the appearance of less than sincere matchmakers who were more interested in turning a financial profit than in honest representation.
This type of shadkhan became the subject of countless Jewish jokes. Shadkhanim still exist today but in greatly reduced numbers. Info Print Cite. Submit Feedback. Thank you for your feedback. The Editors of Encyclopaedia Britannica Encyclopaedia Britannica’s editors oversee subject areas in which they have extensive knowledge, whether from years of experience gained by working on that content or via study for an advanced degree See Article History.
Learn More in these related Britannica articles:. He is regarded by most Christians as the Incarnation of God.
That was, apparently, the wrong answer. Never mind. I had just been sized up, then dismissed, as a potential match. A dentist by training, she long ago gave up that career for her full-time calling as a shadchen, to use the Hebrew and Yiddish word for one who makes shidduchs, or matches. At any given time, Ms. That is not including those who met online at SawYouAtSinai.
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If there’s any good news that the coronavirus pandemic has brought with it for the ultra-Orthodox sector, it’s in the world of matchmaking. The virus, and the economic crisis that came with it, has lowered the “prices” of eligible Orthodox bachelors by hundreds of thousands of shekels, and according to experts – that drop in prices is here to stay.
Meaning, a new apartment in a good location – Jerusalem or Bnei Brak – furniture and everything, without the groom needing to worry about all the economic stuff, so he can just study Torah quietly. The numbers skyrocketed, and of course only the wealthy could afford such a prodigy at those numbers. Follow Israel Hayom on Facebook and Twitter. Those days ended when the pandemic started. Nowadays even the wealthy Orthodox are finding it difficult to spend more than a million shekels for a prodigy groom.
Once the prices went down, I’m not sure they’ll go back to what they were. According to Tsoran, many in the Orthodox community are happy with this apparent trend brought on by the virus. People understood that the sector needs to be more logical if they want to marry their kids. The public understood that the world is fighting a pandemic, that is hurting families and taking people to another world, so all the financial management and demands have changed.
And once the demands were lowered – they won’t go back to what they were before the virus so fast.
The Jewish Chronicle
The production made history: the first musical to surpass 3, performances, it went on to win nine Tony awards, including Best Musical and Best Score. Four Broadway revivals and one successful film adaptation later, the story of Tevye and his daughters remains alive in popular culture. Based on the book by Yiddish master storyteller Sholem Aleichem, Tevye attempts to preserve his family and Jewish traditions while outside influences threaten to derail all he knows.
Much of the preservation begins with marriage, and a matchmaker is one of the most important and powerful members of the community. Still today, the matchmaker holds a special role. Any part of the world where people want and believe in their people and want to see them live on, the only way to do that is by being matched up and continuing to bring more people into the world and to continue on with your beliefs.
Matchmaker, Matchmaker, make me a match But what if you’re too Test your knowledge with our Yiddish language and Jewish culture quizzes. Take a quiz.
One of longest traditions of matchmaking is in Jewish communities in Eastern Europe and Russia, with the height of this tradition occurring in the Middle Ages. There, a professional matchmaker, known as a shadkhan plural shadkanim , had an extremely important profession because of the relative isolation of the small communities and the fact that courtship was actually frowned upon.
Search this site. The Young Woman. The Parents. Matchmaker Number One. Matchmaker Number Two. The Prince. Matchmakers: A History. Love, Comfort, Happiness. Re-Telling A Tale. The Story.
Who Do You Turn to After Your 60th JDate?
In every cemetery, a few headstones stand out among the neat rows of ordinary grave markers and spark the imagination. In Jewish cemeteries in Turkey, these special markers not only served as a memorial to the deceased. They also elevated the social standing of the living, says Minna Rozen, a professor emeritus of Jewish history at the University of Haifa, who has documented more than 61, such tombstones.
Rozen, who specializes in the history of Jews in the Ottoman Empire, spent two years, between and , documenting the graves of Jews buried across Turkey from the late 16th century to the late 20th century. The tombstones [fostered] the rank of the family ahead of the most important day of all — not Judgment Day, but wedding day.
NJP (Nice Jewish Person) Irene Slobin (Also a Matchmaker!) This month, the JN features an older, eligible single in the community: Irene.
Love is in the air during the lockdown with matchmaking service We Go Together reporting an increase in new relationships. Open to any member of the London area Jewish community over the age of 28, the free enterprise was set up three years ago by Lady Daniela Pears. Those involved anticipated a decrease in interest during the lockdown. In fact it has been the opposite.
Although not religious, a Jewish partner was culturally important to him. Simon enjoyed a date with a new partner a few days before the lockdown began. It went well to the point that they were the last people to leave the restaurant after chatting all night. Since then they have remained in touch through phone and FaceTime chats and delivering gifts to each other while observing social distancing. A few hours later, she was at my door with Tupperware containing chicken soup and matzah balls.
So I decided to drop round a bunch of flowers to show my appreciation. Jackie, 49, is also a fan of the new way of romance after a recent introduction through We Go Together. Instead of dinners and theatre trips, she and her date have been going on socially distanced walks and bike rides through the Hertfordshire countryside.
Our God, Our Matchmaker
We pride ourselves on our ability to find a perfect match for everyone. We recognize that the practice of matchmaking has been around for centuries. One of the longest traditions of matchmaking is in Jewish communities within Eastern Europe and Russia. A Jewish matchmaker is referred to as a shadchan. It is said that the very first shadchan is God, as he matched up Adam and Eve. As well in the Torah, it is stated that people must pay fees to their shadchan.
Like the app, which in some ways harkens back to the idea of the shadchan or Jewish matchmaker of yesteryear, the building feels like a bridge between the old world and the new. Inside the high-ceilinged loft that functions as both the offices for the tech startup and Yarus’ apartment, a half-dozen or so trendy-looking twentysomethings are typing frantically on their laptops as Lil Wayne blasts from a pair of speakers. It’s democratizing the matchmaker through technology.
The concept of Jewish-specific online dating is nothing new. But in an age where religion, race and old world values feel less and less important to young Americans of all denominations, many millennial Jews still seem to care deeply about dating inside their own culture. Yarus, who grew up in a predominantly Jewish community in Miami Beach, Florida, is only interested in marrying a woman who shares his faith and cultural background.
The Jewish community needs it immediately,"” says Yarus. For some, the idea of seeking out a match based on race and religion might seem a tad antiquated even slightly bigoted in its exclusivity , despite the undeniable advancements in technology. I myself am a product of an interfaith marriage. Neither myself nor my parents are religious, though I do identify as culturally Jewish.
Would I be Jewish enough for these people? In fact, the one friend Yarus and I have in common on Facebook is a girl who once chastised me at a party for referring to myself as “half-Jewish. Still, after a week or so of using the app I’ve found that very few, if any, people on JSwipe really care all that much about religion or the purity of one’s Jewish bloodline.
But ultimately, it seems to me, that young Jews aren’t particularly interested in what sect you identify with, just as long as they can find someone who relates in a general sense to their cultural values and upbringing, someone who understands where they’ve come from.
The Jewish matchmaker
These women, professional shadchanim , or matchmakers, ask the men and women about their family connections and education, who they know, where they pray. The shadchanim dismiss their unmarried charges after the interviews, then huddle together in a dark room lined with ancient religious texts. Speaking in a mixture of English, Yiddish, and Hebrew, they rifle through their notes, searching for matches. They are helping the men and women—especially the women—fulfill the primary social responsibility of their community: to get married.
There are no dating websites, apps, or events.
Its younger cousin JSwipe, which debuted in , is a Jewish complement to nondenominational swipe-based dating apps like Tinder or.
Religious faith has long held a strong link to matchmaking and arranged marriage. In Jewish tradition, God was the original matchmaker, creating Eve out of Adam’s rib so that the two could share company and procreate [source: Kadden and Kadden ]. Therefore, matchmakers held a prominent position in Jewish history. Fathers customarily bore the responsibility of selecting adequate grooms for their daughters and might request assistance from a local matchmaker, or shadchan , to seek out an eligible bachelor.
Matchmakers may then team up with rabbis to pair young men and women in the community, something that still takes place in orthodox communities. The Torah dictates payment to a shadchan , but that doesn’t always happen; some Jewish matchmakers will refuse to accept any remuneration, considering it their divine calling they pursue as a form of charity [source: Sherwood ]. Similar to secular professional matchmakers, Jewish shadchans might inquire around to find out about a young man’s character, personality, religious observance, family and professional prospects before proceeding with the fix-up.
Jewish matchmaking focuses more on shared family background and kindred morals than romantic attraction, and, likewise, the relationship-building is reserved for the post-nuptial years. For that reason, once the preordained couple meets, they aren’t expected to carry out an extended courtship, and the young man may pop the question after only a couple months, if not sooner.
In Southeast Asia, arranged marriage remains a common custom , and the family often functions as matchmaker. With marriage a cornerstone establishment of the Hindu faith, the matchmaking tradition has existed in India, for instance, since the fourth century, and even in the 21st century, about 90 percent of Indian marriages are set up [source: Toledo ].
Boys’ families are generally the ones that initiate a search for a bride and may also solicit a matchmaker to ensure that a girl’s family line and astrological signs are compatible [source: Flanigan ]. Younger, more urban generations have sought more autonomy in their romantic lives, but even in the United States, some Indian singles continue to keep the family involved in their marital decisions, allowing them to vet or even choose potential suitors [source: Jain ].
Marriage can also be a group effort within Muslim communities around the world as well.
For Glory and Matchmaking: The Very Lively History of Jewish Tombstones in Turkey
With the world going virtual, several Yeshiva University students are undertaking a tough challenge during the pandemic: dating during coronavirus. Social distancing has limited singles from meeting easily, putting a strain on their dating lives. Several Jewish individuals have attempted dating alternatives such as Zoom speed events and Facebook group chats.
Tradition and Jewish Culture Jewish marriages, just like Christian ones, have been arranged for centuries. This custom changed in The first Jewish marriage arranged by a matchmaker was a union between Isaac and Rebecca. The Bible.
In one hand she holds a filing card with a photograph stapled to it. In the other is her phone. She peers at the card and tells the rabbi on the end of the line: “Her parents are separated, not divorced. Sirota flips the card over and reads out a couple of names and phone numbers: references provided by the young woman for community elders who will attest to her character. All being well, a meeting between the pair will be arranged and then, Sirota hopes, an engagement.
Sirota, 67, is a shadchan, a traditional Jewish matchmaker. Beneath the vaulted ceilings of her house in Mea Shearim, one of the earliest settlements outside the Old City walls and home to the strictest adherents of the Jewish faith, a wicker basket of filing cards lies on a large cloth-covered dining table. Some are clipped together with laundry pegs: these are couples Sirota has introduced and who are now dating with a view to marriage.
Although there have been tentative steps to introduce an online shadchan service, Sirota handwrites all her notes, and sifts information and evaluates possible connections in her head. She is dismissive of a computerised system. A computer has no intuition, and “when you write things out by hand, it goes up your arm and into your brain and stays there,” she says. In this largely insular world, there is, according to Sirota, a spectrum of religious observance, from “black”, the strictest ultra-orthodox communities, to “coloured”, modern orthodox.
At the “black” end, she says, it’s relatively simple for parents to identify suitable potential partners for their children. The parents can do all the checking.
J-Junction – matching Jewish singles
JDate, founded in , is an online dating site that matches potential couples based on shared interests and hobbies. Its younger cousin JSwipe, which debuted in , is a Jewish complement to nondenominational swipe-based dating apps like Tinder or Bumble. An increase in swiping may not immediately translate into lasting Jewish connections. But Yarus said that an unexpected shake-up in dating protocol might encourage people to experiment with new dating etiquette.
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Jewish sources devote relatively little attention to defining norms or boundaries for human beauty, though they certainly do not reject beauty as an admirable feature meriting cultivation, provided that it is employed to serve the higher purpose of goodness, effectiveness, and sanctity. The sources also identify negative aspects of beauty, which if misdirected can cause a person to stray from the Bible’s moral teachings.
In light of this dual perspective, we sought to examine the importance of physical appearance in the everyday life of contemporary religious Zionist Jews in Israel. Outward appearance is an important consideration in marital choice, and in traditional Jewish society matchmakers played a significant role in introducing potential partners to one another.
We thus sought to investigate matchmakers’ attitudes and practice regarding their clients’ views on issues of beauty, through interviews with matchmakers about the role of beauty in their work. In Section I we examine a number of Biblical sources that pertain to the issue of beauty. Section II provides important socio-cultural background information about the norms and values of the sampled population. In Section III, we present the findings and discussion on the research.
In the Bible, women’s beauty is treated as the perfection of a divine object, and therefore the Bible generally addresses beauty in a positive manner, with wonder and awe. Nonetheless, problematic aspects of beauty are also presented to the reader: its strong appeal and seductive character may cause man to transgress biblical laws and morals, and receive punishment as a result. G-d is the source of what is beautiful, good and eternal. G-d’s actions are described as beautiful Ecclesiastes Thus, we can understand the words “it was good” that conclude each portion of the story of creation Genesis 1 as signifying beauty, because beauty and goodness are synonyms in the Bible, such as at Genesis The mothers of the Jewish nation, Sarah, Rebecca and Rachel, are described as beautiful and of comely appearance, while of Queen Esther the Bible declares that she “